As usual with obscure stuff on our Netflix list, I forget where I came across this or why I ordered it. A quick IMDB and google search reveals that Argento, and this movie in particular, have a devoted fanbase who consider him a visual genius and Suspiria the paragon of horror movies. I beg to differ. While the design is original, and it’s always a delight to see Escher’s art, even if it’s misplaced, the plot, acting, effects and direction suck just too badly to be bearable. The attack of the rubber bat is a comic highlight, in an otherwise overly long C movie, and the tagline “the only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of this film are the first 92” is awkwardly fitting.

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It’s a classic among vigilante movies, the best of the series it spawned, and it has Clint Eastwood in it, playing a socially disconnected moralizing force of one, dealing revenge and retribution without restraint. That setup works in Leone’s Man With No Name series, probably in part because of the cool, detached direction and abstraction of the old west setting, but also because we are never supposed to take Eastwood’s side in those. I wanted to rewatch Dirty Harry because it’s set in San Francisco, quickly realized I had never seen it before, and found myself distracted from the sweeping views of bay and bridge by the manipulative moralizing message that weaves through the film. Mores are crumbling, and with a weak justice system unable to keep the depravity in check, men like Harry have to clean up, and get dirty in the process, a dark avenger, protecting us all. Feel reactionary today, punk?

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